Gaslighting in the workplace is a subtle yet harmful form of psychological manipulation that can leave employees questioning their competence, memory, and reality. It is a tactic used to maintain control and power, often leading to stress, self-doubt, and even long-term career setbacks for the victim. Understanding how gaslighting works, recognizing its signs, and knowing how to respond are essential steps for protecting your mental health and well-being at work. This article will provide clear definitions, key tactics, and practical advice for dealing with workplace gaslighting.

Gaslighting is a psychological manipulation tactic where a person or group makes someone question their perception of reality. While the term originally referred to a form of emotional abuse in personal relationships, it has since been recognized as a common workplace issue.

In the context of work, gaslighting involves a manager, supervisor, or colleague denying events, dismissing accomplishments, and manipulating facts to make the victim feel uncertain and dependent. It's a process that unfolds over time and is aimed at eroding the victim's self-trust, making it easier for the gaslighter to maintain control.

Gaslighting is part of a larger category of manipulative tactics used to control others. Unlike outright bullying or lying, gaslighting relies on subtle psychological tricks that make it difficult for the victim to realize they are being manipulated. It's important to recognize this distinction to better understand how to protect yourself.

1. Denial of Reality
   • The gaslighter flat-out denies events that occurred, such as conversations, decisions, or agreements. For example, a manager might say, "We never agreed to that deadline," even though you have an email confirming it.
2. Undermining Trust and Confidence
   • The gaslighter subtly questions the victim's skills, knowledge, or memory. They might say things like, "Are you sure you're remembering that correctly?" or "You're being overly sensitive." Over time, this erodes the victim's self-confidence.
3. Blame Deflection
   • When mistakes happen, gaslighters deflect blame onto the victim. Even if the problem was caused by the gaslighter's own actions or poor instructions, they'll say, "You should have known better" or "You're always causing problems."
4. Denying Contributions
   • Gaslighters downplay the victim's accomplishments and contributions. For instance, if you complete a project ahead of schedule, the gaslighter might respond, "That's just part of your job" or "Everyone's pulling extra weight right now." This prevents employees from feeling validated or appreciated.
5. Emotional Manipulation
   • Gaslighters use emotional appeals to control behavior. For example, they might imply that employees should "show loyalty" by working unpaid overtime or staying silent about unfair treatment. They may frame it as "everyone else is doing it" or guilt-trip the victim for not being a "team player."

Gaslighting in the workplace often stems from a desire for control, power, or self-protection on the part of the gaslighter. Here's why it happens:

• Power and Control: Managers or supervisors may gaslight employees to maintain dominance. By making employees doubt themselves, it's easier for the manager to assert authority and avoid accountability.
• Self-Preservation: Sometimes, gaslighting occurs when someone fears being exposed for their incompetence or mistakes. Instead of admitting fault, they push blame onto others to protect their own reputation.
• Toxic Work Culture: Companies with poor management, lack of accountability, or "hustle culture" may create environments where gaslighting is normalized. If leadership constantly prioritizes "company loyalty" or "teaming up for the cause," they may inadvertently promote gaslighting behavior.
• Economic Pressures: During periods of layoffs or hiring freezes, employees may be expected to take on more work without additional compensation. When employees push back, gaslighters might manipulate them into feeling guilty by saying, "We're all in this together," or "Don't you care about the company's future?"

Many people confuse gaslighting with other workplace behaviors, but not all forms of criticism, disagreements, or negative interactions are gaslighting. Understanding what gaslighting is not can help clarify the boundaries of this term.

1. Constructive Criticism
   • Feedback from a manager or peer aimed at improving your work is not gaslighting. Constructive criticism provides specific, actionable suggestions and is usually intended to support growth, not undermine your sense of reality.
2. Disagreements or Differing Opinions
   • Differences of opinion are a normal part of workplace collaboration. If a coworker or supervisor disagrees with your perspective, it doesn't mean they're gaslighting you. Gaslighting occurs when someone denies your experience or tries to make you question your memory or perception.
3. Mistakes and Accountability
   • Everyone makes mistakes at work, and being held accountable for your errors is not gaslighting. A manager pointing out errors and asking you to correct them is a normal part of workplace dynamics.
4. Direct Disagreement or Correction
   • If a supervisor corrects your work or provides alternative instructions, it's not gaslighting as long as they aren't attempting to rewrite history or deny previous agreements. Direct feedback is part of healthy workplace communication.
5. Performance Reviews and Evaluations
   • Performance reviews are formal assessments of your work. If feedback is based on documented evidence and clear criteria, it's not gaslighting. However, if the review contains fabricated information or misrepresents your performance, it may cross the line into gaslighting.

1. Recognize the Signs
   • Frequent Self-Doubt: Do you constantly question your own memory or decisions? If you're always second-guessing yourself, it's possible you're being gaslit.
   • Feeling Isolated: Gaslighters may try to isolate victims from colleagues by sowing doubt about their intentions or loyalty.
   • Unfair Blame: If you're regularly blamed for mistakes that aren't your fault, or you're held to different standards than your colleagues, you might be experiencing gaslighting.
   • Constant Justification: If you find yourself always trying to "prove" your work or explain your decisions, you're likely being subjected to gaslighting.
2. Document Everything
   • Keep records of emails, meeting notes, and work-related communications. If someone tries to deny an agreement or decision, you'll have proof to back yourself up.
3. Set Clear Boundaries
   • Practice assertiveness by clearly stating your expectations. For example, say, "I need confirmation in writing," or "I'd like clarification on what's expected so we're on the same page."
4. Don't Engage in the "Tango"
   • Gaslighters often try to provoke emotional reactions. Instead of engaging, stay calm and focused on facts. If they deny reality, calmly restate your view. For example, you might say, "I understand that's your perspective, but I've seen it differently." Avoid arguments that will only escalate the situation.
5. Seek Support
   • If you're unsure whether you're being gaslit, talk to a trusted mentor, HR representative, or mental health professional. They can offer perspective and help you validate your experiences.
6. Leverage External Job Offers
   • If you're being gaslit and no progress is being made, it may be time to explore opportunities elsewhere. In some cases, having another job offer can give you leverage in negotiations with your current employer.
7. Consider Your Long-Term Well-Being
   • If gaslighting is persistent and you're unable to resolve it, consider whether it's time to leave. No job is worth sacrificing your mental health and self-confidence.

Gaslighting at work is a serious issue that can have long-term effects on your mental health, career, and sense of self-worth. Recognizing gaslighting tactics and knowing how to respond can empower you to protect yourself. If you're dealing with a gaslighting supervisor, prioritize your mental health and document everything. You're not alone, and there are resources available to help you move forward.